Weight is Just a Number
by Claire McKay Bowen
For years, I’ve struggled with this number. Not because I am physically overweight or unhealthy. Not because I can’t wear tight-fitting clothes. Not because I have trouble squeezing myself into tiny airplane seats (Seriously, how do some of you squeeze yourself in them?!).
I do not struggle physically. I struggle mentally.
...
It started in grade school. As a child, I wasn’t considered athletic by any measure. I was visibly “plump,” couldn’t run a mile, and could barely complete a push-up.
I became mentally unhappy.
In high school, I decided to change my lifestyle and improve my health. I stopped drinking soda, walked every day, cut out extra sugar, and ate more fruits and vegetables.
These small changes improved my life.
But, the defining change came the summer before my sophomore year. I became the assistant manager for the cross-country team, where partway through the season I had a crazy idea. I joined the team as a runner. I wasn’t fast by any means. I distinctly remember one race where I almost finished last, sprinting against the person who did. I sprinted because my only goal that season was to not be the last one to cross the finish line in any race.
Given how close I was to finish last so many times, I resolved to improve myself the following summer. I knew the only way to get better was to run—so I did. I didn’t run intervals, fartleks, or HR zones. I just ran, building from running half a mile to consistently running four miles. This one change—becoming a runner—transformed me. I went from barely running a mile at the start of high school to becoming a scoring member of the cross-country team by my senior year. I lost over 20 pounds and felt better physically.
I kept recreationally running through college, eventually completing my first marathon at 19. I eventually added biking and swimming to the mix, buying my first road bike and joining the master swim group. Somewhere along the way, I made another crazy decision that still haunts me today: I started racing triathlons.
My first sprint triathlon was on campus. I wasn’t very good. I didn’t know about brick workouts or how to sight during open-water swims. Nutrition? What’s that? I had no idea I needed to eat during longer workouts. But despite the learning curve, I was hooked.
Fast forward to today. I’ve completed two full-distance triathlons, seven half-distance triathlons, nine marathons, a dozen or more half-marathons, countless 10Ks and 5Ks, and numerous endurance bike races.
Why do I bring this up?
At the end of 2022, I weighed myself for the Tour de Boudicca, an all-women, three-day stage virtual race series on Zwift. Participants had to record their weight to ensure fair competition, because Zwift calculates the virtual bike speed based on watts per kilogram.
When I saw my weight, I realized it was the same weight as my high school self who couldn’t run a mile.
This realization brought me down. I started questioning how to “fix” the number. Should I diet more aggressively? Increase workout intensity or frequency? Make other lifestyle changes?
These questions were absurd.
At the time, I had gained a little holiday weight. This break from a more careful diet was necessary since it came right before I ramped up my training for the 2023 Ironman Texas Woodlands. I set personal records in every leg of that race—even when my goggles broke during the swim.
Reflecting on what I accomplished (and will accomplish), I realized something important: weight is just a number. This number does not hold any true value. It doesn’t define how I look, feel, or achieve.
Back in 2022 and now in 2025, I am the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been. In 2022, my goal was to set a personal record at Ironman Texas—not just by minutes, but by hours—and I achieved it. Now, my focus has shifted to completing all the World Marathon Majors and qualifying for the Boston Marathon in the next few years. I’m steadily working toward this goal, having already shaved 10 minutes off my marathon time: five minutes at the 2024 OKC Marathon and another five minutes at the 2024 Chicago Marathon.
So, this is my reminder—to you and to myself: let’s have the mental strength to see weight for what it is.
A number.
Author’s Note: Original version written as a Facebook post on December 9, 2022. The updated version (January 2, 2025) reflects the personal changes since then and some edits to tighten the prose.
Author’s Bio (if needed): Claire McKay Bowen is senior fellow and leads the Data Governance and Privacy Practice Area at the Urban Institute. She is also a member of the Census Scientific Advisory Committee and several other data governance and data privacy committees, as well as an adjunct professor at Stonehill College.